Friends and Environments


Can anyone explain to me the attraction to joining a club that is organised around complaining? I can understand comiseration societies that reward themselves for the latest insanity done in regards to them. Sharing stories (and a bottle of wine) can be a very healing thing indeed.

But these snark communities.... For the most part, I see is folks bashing people who may not be as "hard core" as the membership seems to think they are.

That is part of the rub for me. I see some of these things, and I wonder...where did they obtain this idea that they are hard-core? I have conversed with some of these folks, and then I compare the experience to conversing with those who really get it. The ones who get it are a hell of a lot nicer and higher quality than the judgmental idiots.

Where do they get this judgmental attitude from? The real ones I have had the pleasure of working with, of socializing with, of doing ritual with....they do not have this attitude. And a few of them are KNOWN to have a sharp tongue when properly riled. I have even heard a few of them let out some rather choice commentary in regards to certain groups (they tend to focus on the sort that you find in the snark lists).

The "fluffies" are not the problem. Neither are the true traditionalists. The problem seems to be the folks that think they get it but they are not embodying anything but a veneer (and believe me, knowing a lot of lore can be just as much a veneer as any other thin bit of fluff). The ones who get it have it in their bones...in their blood.

Most of these snarks do not have it at that level or they would not be snarking the way they do at the targets they choose.

I used to be a lot less judgmental of other's choice in friends. I used to base my judgement mostly on my own impressions.

Unfortunately, I also have a history of setting myself up. You see, I tend to see the best potentials of people more than the actual probabilities that they will actually live up to these potentials, or even try to live up to them. I have a history of basing my willingness to help (and befriend) others on this potential-potential rather than the probable potential.

Nowadays, I look more to what company the person keeps, and then run an analysis. I will still befriend someone who has some rather questionable friends, but I'm a lot more cautious of this. It really depends on the sort of questionable. Some things I do not care too much about, but active malice and passive-aggressive tactics will set me right off.

Just some thoughts as I get back to studying (and I keep thinking there is something I have forgotten to check).

I can see the sort of environment people want in their lives. *Glances at various peoples' credentials.* I also know the sort I want to be associated with (Knowing a bit of the credentials of various folks).

I'm not one for "hero worship," nor is it vital that someone have a tradition or published books. But it does become apparent that some do indeed have more "right" to be crotchety and judgmental. They tend to have the respect of others of quality.

Look at the company they keep. I am not talking about the folks who happen to be in a particular community, nor am I talking about those who use a particular label. I am talking about those who foster lines of respect between themselves and others. I am speaking of the keystones, and the sort of environs they create about themselves and in their homes.

What is the environment you want to have about you?