Don’t read this without an open mind, especially if you just happen to have a straightjacket handy.
As I have said to those on #elves in Dalnet, when asked who I am, I usually answer that i am an elf pretending to be a human pretending to be a dragon. As for a human pretending to be a dragon, that’s obvious by reading the About Me page lying around here somewhere. As for an elf pretending to be a human, you have to suspend your disbelief even further to understand…
Many older cultures have believed in elves and fairies, the most prominent of them being the Celts of Europe. Modern science has tried to convince us that these supernatural beings are just that: supernatural, not part of the natural world, not existing. However, it doesn’t mean that they don’t really exist. For many cultures, elves are often considered just another part of the world which we have forgotten how to see.
Here’s the point… I am an elf. Ever since I was old enough to walk, I’ve been drifting off into the forest to watch the animals and listen to the earth. I’ve always felt a calling to nature, and, even more strongly, an innate calling to magick. Not formal mgick with rituals, just tapping into the energies and threads of life that are interconnected, on an almost unconscious level. it’s a part of my very being. (Think I’m crazy yet?) People that know me often call me an elf because I’m so small and because I’m such a nature person. I have memories of other times, other places, other lives, but, like i said it’s more of an innate feeling than anything else.
Trying to explain is like a normal person trying to explain why they think they’re human… or maybe I’m just insane. What I do know is that I am not the only one who is either crazy or really not human. There are other Fey out there, and I know some of them. There are others out there who are not elves, but are not of this world, either. Stuffed into human bodies as well, there are dragons and were-creatures and beings I cannot define. We are here for a reason, and that reason is to keep the magic alive that so many people on this planet have forgotten to see. A time will come when we will need it. But for now, we are having fun.
And how do I reconcile being a creature that does not exist in Christian theology with the fact that I am a Christian? well, I don’t, really. It’s a duality which I can’t explain to myself or become comfortable with, but I truly do believe in Jesus, if not in everything his disciples have said since His death. I’m still trying to work it out, and it’s not easy. Not many things in this life are, I suppose. But it definately makes me wonder even more if I’m just crazy.
I wrestle with that question often, whether I’m right, or whether I’m crazy. I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter, because if I’m simply deluded, I’m still happy and have lost nothing. I prefer to be happy and crazy than bored, repressed, and sane any day.
Thank you, Quen, for making me learn this, you have taught me a lot with your questioning, more than i’ve taught you with my answers, I’m sure…